Dust in My Mouth

The desert wilderness is designed to strip us of pride and supports that sustain our false images of ourselves. Imagine the desert, hot, dry, dusty and windy. The skin becomes dry, brittle and grey. All moisture is sucked out of it and we begin to look like we have elephant skin, dark, mottled and unattractive. Our feet swell and they spread, nails curve over the tops as our feet bend to suck the earth so that we may gain traction and make progress. So most likely the first thing we must do is look toward our own sanctification and ask if we are cooperating with the grace of God in this process.

Matthew 8:1 is the story of the leper. We ask, "What does that have to do with me?" Am I a leper? Yes, you are, and so am I. If you do not recognize your leprosy then stand before God and ask "Lord, am I a leper?" "Must I kneel before you too?" The story goes on that the leper was standing before God—humbly asking for help, for a drop of godship toward him. "Lord, reach out your hand—make me clean." I need this posture daily, "God make me clean" of my pride, my rebelliousness, my indifferent heart, my prayerlessness, my selfish narcissisistic ways. Make me clean from the defilement of my garments in my thought life, my passions, my appetites, my omissions. Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me.

The neat thing about lepers back in the day was that there was no way to hide. . . in fact, if a leper drew near a town, a bell ringer would run before him announcing his arrival. The children and ill were terrified of them, mothers grabbed their little children and ran in the other direction. Wouldn't it be helpful if that happened to us? We couldn't fool anyone with our righteous flesh, but most of all, we couldn't deceive ourselves about it. I think that as Christians, we'd run to the laver to be cleansed, IF we could only see our depravity and our unfallen spots in our garments.

So the desert. It will make us know who we really are beneath the shiny shoes and beautiful houses and expensive sports equipment, swimming pools and imported wines. . . Arrgghh the dust in my mouth tastes terrible and makes me thirsty for his pools of refreshing.